On this First Sunday of Advent, I am filled with concern for the world. Say what you will, I cannot but believe we truly are in "End Times."
I drove down to Dothan with my roommate Weds. night. The plan was that he would spend the day with his mother, and I would spend the day clearing one of my storage units. We left late, arriving in Dothan close to dawn. I dropped him at his mother's, and went to a nearby rest stop to catch a few hours of sleep. Crazy, I know, but I didn't want to impose on his mother.
I woke just as the sun tried to come up, and drove around looking for a place to pass the time until the gates opened at the facility I used to manage. I eventually found the local Kiwana park/trail.
To make a long story short, I got to my former place of employment in time to open the gate for my former employer, Mrs. Boss, who told me the latest news. Then I cleared a unit I'd forgot I had there-her daughter had emailed me a few days before Thanksgiving to remind me and to tell me that if I had it cleared by Thanksgiving afternoon they would not charge me. Awfully decent of them.
I understand looking out for one's family-just not at the expense of someone else. It will come back on one, and apparently is on my former employers. They treated me, and everyone who has ever worked for them VERY-VERY badly, justifying their behaviours by claiming to be looking out for their family, and simultaneously claiming to be dispensers of Christian Charity.
Uh, amoung other mal-treatments, such as firing people a fortnight before Christmas and deliberately stymieing the manager's capacity to do her job by firing the staff out from under her with no warning, and cheating her of wages and holidays not to mention respect; calling a cousin/employee her "pet nigger" to his face was for me a complete exposure of how well evil embeds in a suseptible soul.
Poor Goober-except he too calls black people "niggers" and while I was there when Mrs. Boss gigglingly referred to her husband's fifth cousin as her pet nigger to whom they kindly gave a charity job, to his face and I saw the utter shock and hurt on his face-being called that by his own cousin in law made no change in his calling blacks by a racist term.
I confess to only a lukewarm prayer for their recovery-my lukewarmness for me yet another sign of "the end" being near.
After I cleared that unit, I went to the place I'd got my things hurriedly moved to, and commenced to sorting out the mess made by the "get out of Dodge" panic.
I took a couple of breaks, and made a few phone calls and courtesy visits trying to connect with my son, who'd sent a message through my roommate that he wanted to make peace.
I left a message for him with one of his friends who was going to be spending the dinner hour with Fox, and then spent an utterly miserable rest of the day sorting through the rubble of the past four years. I waited and waited and waited-no Fox.
Completely heartbroken, I went to Entrare's to pick him up for the drive back to Atlanta; unable to stop crying, I rang him first from a payphone and asked him to come out to the curb when he saw my car, as I felt unable to face anyone in my grief.
(Sounds melodramatic until you consider what it was like for me to spend Thanksgiving alone, essentially homeless, reduced to driving around or moving from rest stop to park while waiting for something to open.)
And there I connected with my son, who never got my message until Entrare rang him to chastise him for letting me down after getting my hopes up, and on Thanksgiving no less!
Entrare's mother insisted I come in and have a plate of holiday leftovers. My son promised to help me get things sorted out about his dog, and consolidating my storage units.
Entrare and I drove back to Atlanta in time for me to shower and get to work.
Friday night I collapsed after work after depositing a frozen Tex-Mex casserole into the oven and then eating some of it. Gads, far too much sodium, and oddly, I found I didn't much enjoy it. My chest aches-my pericardium must be squeezing the hell out of my heart! And the taste of the sodium was too strong.
Saturday I spent pulling myself together.
Today I will clean, organize, and cook the Thanksgiving dinner I would have cooked had we not gone down to Dothan.
But first I checked the news online, going straight to the BBC. Oh dear heavens!
Quakes, wars, famine, and drunken riots. Murdered lady police constables, sex slave traffic dramatically increased. Racism spreading across the globe.
And bloody damned ostriches every-bloody-where.
I have a complete contempt for willful ignorance.
And I apologize for any spelling/grammatical errors.