Weds 28 December 2022 1104hrs GMT
NOTE TO SELF: NEVER START A FLATPACK DIY TWO WEEKS BEFORE CHRISTMAS. Although, we REALLY needed those two new bookcases and by the 18th both were assembled and in place including safety strapping to the wall. The timing could have been better (2wks before Christmas, REALLY?! WT-bloody-H was I thinking??!!). Still need to sort the books and craft supplies those bookcases will hold but wow-wow-wow is it good to have those in, and BONUS, he was so flushed with success he even mounted two surge-protector power strips AND ran the headphone cable around the ceiling - NO MORE WIRES AND CABLES TO TRIP OVER!
Paul has Asperger's and one of the worst triggers for him is sound. Any sound. He cannot bear the sound of the television-stereo-vacuum-doorbell-cat meowing-telephone conversations-footfall or motor traffic passing the house. He tolerates other household noises well enough - I can run a load of laundry or do washing up IF the doors between him and the kitchen are kept closed.
But if I want to listen to music or the television I have to wear an earpiece plugged into the source. I gave wireless ear-pods a miss when the cost and potential for brain tumors outweighed the benefits of being able to move freely about the living room and kitchen.
Married to Asperger's - not for the faint-hearted even when the spouse has a psychology background. Er, nothing in my 'aberrant human behaviour' training prepared me for being married to someone with Asperger's. Well nothing except being aware of where to do research and trust me it was MOST helpful to discover the condition is not a mental health issue but instead is a neurological one. OH, I found out - it's not acute passive-aggressive behaviour, it's Asperger's. Doable.
OK, yeah, if I'd known before I married him I would have possibly given it all a miss. But we're ok once I worked that Asperger's thing out (and we got a private confirmation in order to avoid the NHS and the council - they love to put 'people on the spectrum' on a watch list and they've been known to seize assets and other nasty 'it's for your own good' sort of madness). Not exactly how I wanted to spend my 'golden years' but all things considered, it's fine. I joined an online support group and from reading the other posts I see I've got it pretty good comparatively speaking.
Despite the Asperger's, Christmas went well - quietly peaceful and companionable. We followed all the most important traditions of food, presents, and movies. The jigsaw puzzle was started on Boxing Day. We even managed, despite the Royal Mail 'industrial action' (posties on strike), to receive nine Christmas cards.
And yesterday (27th) it snowed for hours, long enough that we still have lying snow at noon, with a thaw this afternoon but more snow by the weekend forecast. I would have been out there building a snowman yesterday afternoon but I'm in a mild 'acute flare' of the stoopid little heart thingie and know better than to go play in the snow. (dammit)
For us Christmas Week begins after the Fourth Sunday of Advent candle is lit. We played Yahtzee every night until Christmas Eve. Enjoyed nibbling on a cheese and cracker board and watched two 'ghostie stories' Christmas Eve. We watched Casablanca Christmas night - somehow Paul had never seen it. Boxing Day night we watched the Alastair Sim 1951 Scrooge - A Christmas Carol, another movie classic he'd never seen. He thought Casablanca was alright but he loved Scrooge and kept saying 'Masterpiece' throughout the viewing.
By the 27th he was experiencing a touch of sensory overload and retreated to the bedroom to sit on the bed with his laptop on his new lap tray (yeppers, a Christmas present), he's still a bit overloaded this morning so I'm letting him alone - he'll come out when he's ready. Asperger's is never easy for the Aspie and loved ones but we've been together long enough for him to know I'm perfectly aware of his Asperger's induced needs and can manage on my own for extended periods. I spent yesterday puttering including getting more rows on his winter blanket.
Today will likely be the same - I'll catch up on some things wanting doing and he'll decompress and by NYE he'll be ready to spend some time back in the living room with me. Thanks to my pericarditis flare I'm having to take things slowly - do a little, rest a little, rinse and repeat. So I'm not sure I'm up to a lot of togetherness the now, his need for decompression is working for me this week.
So, all in, Christmas went reasonably well and I'm ready for the New Year. I've already begun (as usual) planning Christmas 2023. Applying lessons of 2022 to 2023, organising books and craft supplies to end Mount Perpetual-Stuff-On-The-Dinner-Table, finishing projects and beginning new ones. And sadly, paring down the accumulated but increasingly disused Christmas decorations.
I love making the entire house look like Mrs Claus lives here. I like to put decorations in every room of the house. We own three Christmas trees, about a gajillion light sets and more baubles than are possible to ever get on one Christmas tree. We have pine garlands, wreaths, Nativity sets in various sizes including a fridge magnet triptych I absolutely refuse to part with. We have table linens, tree skirts, candle bridges, snowmen, village scenes, and of course Father Christmas figures.
Paul has Asperger's. Living in a Father Christmas grotto sets his teeth on edge - he hates when I'm in a flare because he hates seeing me suffer but he loved the way I decorated this year owing to the difficulty the flares cause. Minimal. So minimal. I didn't even put a garland on the mantel this year and the fridge magnet Nativity under a cheese dome is the mantel centrepiece so bloody small you really would need a magnifying glass to see it. The tree is lucky it got the few bauble and acrylic icicles it got, and the 20 light set was the best I could manage given my waning energy levels. I did have the traditional colour candles in the Advent Wreath but changed those out Christmas night for red ones.
And Paul loved it. He did say he missed the pine garland on the mantel, and would have liked a few more baubles on the tree - but not many more (sigh).
So in the coming year I mean to cull the collection and keep Christmas 2023 only a little more lavishly than Christmas 2022.
2023 - BRING IT!
