27 June 2008

I told someone once that there were some things you never get over, never get through, never get past...Thank-you to the fine gentlemen of The Moody Blues, who say it far better than I ever could; apologies to my late great friend Ron whose roguish eloquence was truly irresistible, but not for today.

"Lost In A Lost World"

I woke today, I was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
Some of them are living an illusion
Bounded by the darkness of their minds
In their eyes it's nation, against nation, against nation
With racial pride
Sounds...
Thinking only of themselves
They shun the light
(shun the light)
They think they're right
(think they're right)
Living in their empty shells

Oh, can you see their bodies thrashing
(so many people, so many people)
Crashing down around their feet
Angry people in the street
Telling them they've had their fill
Of politics, people who kill

Grow... the seed of evolution
(so many people, so many people)
Revolution everyone
It's just another form of gun
To do again what they have done
Let all our brothers come and get some
(so many people, so many people)

Everywhere you go you see them searching
Everywhere you turn you feel the pain
Everyone is looking for the answers
Well look again, come on my friend
Love will find us in the end
Come on my friend
(on my friend)
We've got to bend
(got to bend)
Down on our knees and say a prayer

Oh, can you see the world is pining
(so many people, so many people)
Pining for someone who really cares enough to share his love
With all of us so we can be
An ever loving family
Have we forgotten who loves who
(so many people, so many people)
Children from a family tree
That's longer than a centipede
Started long ago when you and I
Where only love....
(so many people, so many people)

I woke today, I was crying
Lost in a lost world
So many people are dying
Lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world
So many people, so many people
People lost in a lost world


[ www.azlyrics.com ]


"The Day We Meet Again"

The day we meet again
I'll be waiting there
I'll be waiting there for you
Cos the years have been so lonely
Like a dog without a home
It's dangerous when you find out
You've been drinking on your own

The day we meet again
We will walk in peace
Thru the garden down the road
Where the mist of time is lifting
See it rising in the air
Like the shadow I was chasing
When I looked it wasn't there
Oh no

But just in case you're wondering
What was really on my mind
It wasn't what you took my love
It's what you left behind


And just in case you're wondering
Will it really be the same
You know we're only living for
The day we meet again

So hold on - and don't let go
Time heals - you know - I know

The day we meet again
I'll be waiting there
I'll be waiting there for you
Cos the years have been so lonely
Like a dog without a home
It's dangerous when you find out
You've been drinking on your own

The day we meet again
We will walk in peace
Thru the garden down the road
Where the mist of time is lifting
See it rising in the air
Like the shadow I was chasing
When I looked it wasn't there
Hold on baby don't let go


[ www.azlyrics.com ]

07 June 2008

OK, I've been thinking-how much of this is my fault, my misunderstanding, my mistake?

Still thinking.

Still Thinking

Still thinking.

Nope, although I may be a little sensitive now, I damn sure wasn't when I took this stupid job.

But I'll give this a few more thoughts.

Just in case.

03 June 2008

Knowing that this is all nothing personal does not help. Things are bad all over-I know this.

I still have a job, but it is becoming harder to get through each day. My current 'direct report to' is losing his mind. Really.

He has a bad day-he takes it out on me.

He calls me by the name 'Deborah'-trust me, my real name is not Deborah, and I use my real name at work.

He tells me not to log the received shipments, then turns around and wants me to print the spreadsheet for him to take to a meeting, or he asks me to look something up on the log.

He tells me I am snippy in my emails, and he made me submit all emails to him for vetting.

He tells me not to speak to anyone from the third floor, then writes me up for being rude to them because I would not answer their voice mails-because he said I wasn't to.

He makes constant suggestions that I gossip at the smoking area, prefacing every so-called confidential impartation of our mutual boss' latest stupid move with the statement "What's said in our workplace stays in our workplace" then looks directly at me and warns me not to gossip in the smoking area.

If anyone compliments my work he negates it immediately.

Our new mutual boss is in the process of figuring him out and he knows this and is becoming frantic in his efforts to drive me to quit.

This morning he came in from a meeting with an intra-office envelope addressed to me and opened it, then looked at the contents for a long time before passing it to me.

I went out to the printer to retrieve a print, when I returned he demanded to know who I'd spoken to out there, saying he'd heard me speaking to someone.

I wasn't.

I could go drearily on recounting his growing displays of impending psychosis but will suffice with:

Yesterday afternnon he was on speaker phone with two directors who were trying to get him to do his job-he was expending far more energy trying to avoid doing the work they needed done than doing the work would have taken, punctuating his growing anger at them (one of them our mutual boss) by using one of the crudest descriptions of what his doing the job would symbolize to him that I've heard in years.

He calls black people 'chimps' behind their backs; obviously feels so threatened by women that he is openly and vulgarly hostile to women, to their face (the other director he was arguing with is a woman).

He is going to fire all of us before they finally fire him, and there is nothing I can do about the fact that I am just his first target.

He was taken to task today by our mutual boss, and took it out on me-this afternoon he cut me hours again.

I tell myself that he must be heavily mortgaged and in deep financially that he is willing to be so damn ruthless-I've found emails between him and two others in which they make arrangements to get together to plan the transition of our department to another department head. The emails go back months, and are a clear proof that they deliberately destroyed our high rating with our clients in an effort to justify the transfer of power.

On successful completion, he was promised that he would have my job.

Instead he was (of course) used; one of his cronies took her retirement rather than risk exposure-Blondie was no two bit schemer, she was second class all the way in that she could not acheive the sting but could sense when it was going wrong and could get out quick.

The other crony is on his way out, although he refuses to see it.

Ever see the NBC TV program "The Office"? Ya know the guy Jim met in Scranton, the one who lost it so badly he was sent to Anger Management? You know, the one who proposed to Angela in the season finale, that one.

Well, the other crony is a dead-on ringer for that guy on "The Office", right down to the idiot mannerisms and cliches.

It is funny on a TV program, but right now is not funny to those of us who could go down before this guy is finally outed as the loony he really is-how long will it take for them to realize that this ass has cost the company at the least hundreds of thousands of dollars in his bid for power-oh yes, kids, Ejit Boy has stated in my presence that he wants to take down our business unit manager.

Ha! She will shred him. I figure she is giving him enough rope to hang himself with...TICK TOCK, my boyo, time waits for no one, not even and maybe especially those convinced of their impunity, like you.

But not being into schadenfruede, I frankly could care less-I just wanna do my job.

But not there.

I know now, it is nothing personal. But dammit, why can I not find a real job????