20 May 2006

Johnny, Richard, and Neddie, I've a few things to say to you...

First, to Richard-You GOB, get down here, I need you! I've not had a good game of gin in over 60 years!

Now, Neddie-you ask me to call you Neddie, which of course I was quite reluctant to do and rightly so considering your cut and run act when I do. Funny, how it is you braved all that you did and do, yet a wee lass sends you for the train the minute she says "yes, let's." All I did was answer your question, and off you go.

Yes, I am peeved/put-out/HURT that you needed me, and pushed me away. Frankly, you know, it is rather tiresome. You make everything everyone says about our men true-British men love tragedy-chase, chase, chase-until you catch, then run, run, run.

If you think I missed what last night was, think again.

Pick your excuse-was it that you were trying to spare me your bad humour (if so you are in the running to be the biggest gob of this time! What do you think my agreeing to get to know you was about if not to be your partner? And let me tell you-partners do not go squeamish at the presentation of bad memories! "But you are so frail." Bother my so-called frailty, part of regaining my strength is having someone to care about! Grrr, I am so angry!)?

Or was it your ridiculous surety that I can't possibly love anyone since I am still in love with the greatest gob of all time?

Lastly, to the greatest gob of all time-Johnny.

I dreamt about you all night last night, you horrid little worm.

I dreamt you and your son were driving about aimlessly, lost, and with absolutely no-where to land.

I sensed your despair.

I heard your hope that you could come to me.

WORSE of all, I felt your son's total horror that his father was utterly clueless.

I knew you were clueless because my words of-"Yes, I will always love you, but you've remarried and had a child with a woman St. Michel calls consummate evil, and..." all the rest of what I said to you was ringing in your heart like a death-knell.

So, have you finally come to know that when she broke up our family, crushed our dreams and even our love under a mountain of her covetously spoken lies to create a family of her own nightmare version of a family, she was putting you and that darling little boy on a path to homelessness???????

Oh Johnny, oh Johnny, how you could dance...

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