Cold and windy up here tonight. Yesterday was so beautiful I stayed out in the yard all day.

This morning I went to breakfast with one of the neighbours, then I came in and overdosed on Doom. I spent most of the day looking at bicycles that fold, and rucksacks that roll up and fit down in the bottom of the toteback that doubles as my briefcase, and reading the posts at my fav Doomer sites.

Oh jeez I have a bad feeling about all of this. The Ring of Fire is hotting up, lots of mid sized 'quakes. The New Madrid is also hotting up, lots of small ones but right on the line.

The weather is so unpredictable I don't bother much anymore. I want to grow tomatoes and a few other veggies this spring, and I think instead of starting seeds I am going to buy a plant when the things come available at the Feed 'N Seed down the street.

I'm making a rucksack to carry in the tote because I have lately been thinking I may have to walk home WTSHTF; I looked at folding bikes, but I think I'm going to forget that idea because the little voice in my head says the car might not survive the whatever it is that I am suddenly worried about, so I wouldn't be able to get the bike out of the trunk.

I'm going to start scouting the thrift stores for a three wheeler, used to have one but I gave it away. Stupid. WTSHTF I won't be able to get gas, either through lack of money or lack of supply chain, and the bike, especially if it isn't all shiny bright, would be a good way to get around.

I don't have enough guns, and I don't have enough ammo, and I damn sure don't have enough of the things I know I will need to survive in the post EOTWAWKI era, like a treadle sewing machine, a butter churn-hell, I don't even have what it takes to buy and keep a dairy cow. Chickens are cheap but I hate the little bastards, and besides, the coyotes would get the hens while I was out at work.

I do plan to try to keep working as long as I can, and I keep hoping we'll all figure out a way to keep this a simple Depression instead the collapse of the Western Civilization so many people are starting to realize will happen sometime in the near future.

I really hate all of this, I truly hoped that I would be wrong. Now the rest of the country is on-board, and everyone is admitting what I saw back in the eighties.

In '98 my soon to be ex, already bent because I wouldn't let him get us into a subprime mortgage, was further incensed when I wouldn't let him have Fox's tuition money to invest in the stock market.

Oh yeah, I saw all this coming.

I just wish I were not a stranger in a strange land, on rental land, and alone. Everyone has someone-family, close friends, church, community.

I have two cats, a tilting house, and a very thin shred of optimism that is fading.

The rucksack will hold the contents of my tote, and some basic supplies like ez carry food, 1st aid, clothes, a mylar blankit, a compass, and a weapon.

Oh yeah, I just love all this EOTWAWKI stuff. Damn. Dammit.

Have you read The Road? Oh jeez, what a Doomer nightmare!

Fox, please. Please. Ed knows how to reach me, and I wish you would ask him for the number. Things are just getting too wierd, and I am really hoping yuo can find it in your heart to get you and your loved ones out of there.

Viggo Mortensen is playing the father in the movie. But while I was reading The Road I was seeing you and your son.