13 October 2007

I've needed the heater the last two nights. YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I live for this time of year. Less heat, less humidity-the top two of three reasons I left South East Alabama. (Reason three being Fox's life style choices-I simply could not stay in the same town watching my son live in such emotional squalor.)

I've spent the summer preparing for winter up here-more adventures in reclaiming a house trailer that had been essentially abandoned for seven years, and then half remodeled when they finally said "Oh go ahead and move in." And like the true optimist/idiot I am, I did.

The guys at Lowes think I own the little trailer I am trying so hard to prep for the coming winter. They love that I know my way around the store and only rarely have to ask for help-they love that I can sink my own wall anchors and that I now own every book they sell on home wiring and plumbing-they love that I am not looking for a man to do it all for me, and they especially love that I do know my limitations and rely on them for recommendations on reliable handymen.

They wish (most of them) that they were available, or that their wives were a lot more interested in being more like me. A few think I am a lesbian.

Ah, no.

But today's blog is not about Lowes Home Improvement Centers, or even the sidebar amusement gained by the Lowes guys respectful nod and wave when I cross their threshold.

I will say this-if you are a middle aged reasonably attractive and intelligent single woman and want to get to know a potential 'steady' or even potential new husband (at my age most women look at a guy they've gone out with twice as potential husband material, and most middle aged guys with half a brain look at every woman who crosses their rapidly aging path as a potential older years helpmate/wife) really well, the quickest and best way is to make him take you shopping at Lowes-not Home Depot, ya gotta go to Lowes.

Lowes is considered higher-end (read more expensive, although it really is not while quality and selection is considerably better) and Home Depot is where the cheap guys want to go. So from the start you'll know if the guy is gonna be El Cheapo if he is not willing to hang out at the Lowes tool bar with you, happily perusing the drill bits and driver selection.

OK, maybe todays blog is about Lowes...

A guy who is happy to take you to Lowes for the afternoon is a guy who knows quality when he sees it and isn't afraid to get a little Spackle on his trousers. WOW, now that's a combination! When you find one like that who's orientation is not same gender, you've struck gold, girlfriend!

I want a guy who knows more about home improvement than I do and wants to find a partner who isn't afraid of using a power drill, maybe owns her own tools, and likes to gut interiors with an eye to the future.

And cleans up REALLY, REALLY well. He has got to know how to waltz, which fork to use, and what not to say to Her Majesty.

It would be great if he owned at least three tuxes AND a working backpack. Totally fantastic if he could pass for a (straight-remember, I am hetro) Metro-Sexual and a frontiersman in the same breath.

I'd be captured in rapt attendance on an age appropriate guy who looked good, thought right, and was therefore able to appreciate a good woman when he saw one.

A guy who thinks it totally right that I can sink my own wall anchors (and have a good selection of the many different types Life requires already neatly organized in my appropriately coloured (Gun-Metal Gray and Hunter Green-Pink is for clothing, thank-you-toolboxes).

I'm looking for the guy who is not afraid to read the newspaper; the guy I can have an intelligent conversation with and in the next minute crank up the ACDC 'coz 'Thunderstruck' just came on:)

I'm looking for the real man, the one who knows Mozart is named for the composer, not the graffiti artist known as Mo (Mo'z'art-get it? Gads, I was horrified!).

I want the guy who has season passes to the Symphony AND the local rugby team-I need the guy who knows football (both kinds) is like, vastly overrated, OK?

I've got a serious Jones for the guy who thinks it perfect that I can do Valley, Surfer, AND King's English (God Bless George and 'Bess forever!); the guy who adores that I can be comfortable in any environment except a vulgar one.

Now, that's a guy I could get old with!

Cool. I opened todays blog thinking I would digress on the horror of 21st century life-failing infrastucture, the historic drought we in the Metro are suffering through, the dangers in nearly all of the imports we have come to depend on. I was filled with gloom and disquietude. God purposes, Man disposes-think about it. I damn sure was this morning!

However, God really is in charge. My mood is lifted, and I've found some healing humour in keying my wish list for the guy I want to meet (um, the sooner the better Lord, I am not getting any younger, not in this life anyroad:).

Wishes do come true. Nothing that has happened to me has made me think otherwise.

Thanks Dad! Now, can I please meet him??

About a year before my best friend's husband died of lung cancer she replied to my spoken wish to meet a great guy and my complaint that I'd been single for too long with this-"You don't need a man in your life!"

I knew about Mike's cancer, and he'd sworn me to secrecy because he thought he could beat it. I agreed because after the weekend I spent at their house in '99 trying to help him tell her he'd just been diagnosed made it clear she didn't want to know-everytime we sat her down and tried to get her to understand, she'd blanked, drifted off in response to some distraction, changed the subject...We gave up.

But he was still alive, and seemed to be fine, so I blurted without thinking-"What if something happened to Mike?!"

They had nearly twenty years, and she is completely disinterested in finding someone else; she has no longings for love because she has had that and knows for her, it cannot be replaced. She has her children around her, her grandchildren, her sisters, her mom, and although she just lost her nearly 100 year old father, she has the memory of a great father. And she has me to be her forever best friend. Her life is not perfect, who has a perfect life? But she has Love.

And now, sadly, she understands the answer to my stupid question. I'd pray for her to meet someone, but she doesn't want to.

For a long time I didn't either. I've loved someone (not Crusty,oh please, that rat bastard held me at gunpoint for 18 years-absolutely no love there, trust me), and I lost him, the guy I know God meant for me to be with. Not to Death, but to pride (his) and circumstances (don't ask).

I'm ready. No rebound-eesh! No consolation prize. That is so dishonourable! I'm ready for The Real Thing, with the Right Guy.

And that makes for a much cheerier blog entry than The End Of The World!

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