POST BEGUN TUESDAY 10 NOV 2026 1053HRS GMT

 

 Yep, that time again. Right, several times, actually. Clocks went back, boiler checked before turning it on for the first time this autumn (still autumn here, winter doesn't arrive to my house until First Sunday of Advent), and...

 

OMFG HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!!!

 

Yes, my beloved husband has only gone and bloody scattered the VERY carefully packed-for-Christmas-2026 bag contents and my being essentially immobile means I have to endure his 'Oh it doesn't matter, we'll manage' bullshit is really truly flipping my absolute last button (obviously as I ordinarily would NEVER use profanity in a blog post). 

 

Last year over Christmas, as chief hall-decker, I took the decision at our age and the family lives in the US so won't be here for Christmas it is time to pare down, to go 'simple but elegant' decking the house in and out for future Christmas'. I carefully considered, I gathered and organised including two foot pre-lit 'most realistic' PE trees - one each green and 'snowy', creating colour-themed boxes (red, gold, blue baubles) with coordinating mantel ornaments, tasteful warm-white exterior lighting to highlight our roof-line and the potted evergreens.

 

Nothing kitsch, nothing over-the-top. One colour small and medium baubles on the mantel warm-white pre-lit tree with the folding tree base shaped like houses left natural (no gaudy paint), the exquisite Holy Family resin sculpture, pine garland (unlit) across the mantel and a row of Advent candles across the back. Yes. I know, proper Advent candles should be on a circular wreath but space does not allow. 

 

I did allow myself two little pieces of kitsch - the wood block countdown and a 5in tall tea light snow man. 

 

So, as Advent begins 29th November and I do like to have decs ready in advance, I asked my temporary legs (aka beloved husband) to fetch in the bag from the shed. And that's when he admitted - UNASHAMEDLY - he'd 'repacked' EVERY BLOODY THING AND WASN'T SURE WHERE THINGS ARE - AND WORSE HE ISN'T UP TO TRYING TO FIND ANYTHING. He did say he knows where one tree is - and it turns out that tree is the four-footer unlit.

 

OH. MY. EFFING...  

 

POSTED SAME DAY 1137HRS GMT